Tuesday, April 24, 2012

"What Good is an English Major, Anyway?"

These words were said to me by a friend about my son, a prospective English major, who is off in Michigan and Pennsylvania this week with Steve, checking out colleges.  And then another friend sent this in an email:

"What is the difference between an English Major and a pizza?
The pizza can feed a family of four."

Ba dum bum.

I think they both know that I was an English major.  And the obvious retort that came to my mind was "But just think, if there were no English majors, Christian schools would have a much harder time finding employees to under-pay."  But for prudential reasons, it would be unwise to send that email.  So I'm putting it in a blog post instead.  Mock an English major, and be introduced to the literary genre of satire.  That's where people who are nearly unemployable anyway because of their tendency to read culturally irrelevant works (like Shakespeare) channel their bitterness into their over-developed verbal skills to say things that will make them complete paupers and social outcasts.  Like J.K. Rowling.

Seriously, my father (the Philosophy and History major with a doctorate in Theology) has lobbed blonde jokes at his three blonde daughters for decades.  But even he knows better than to mock the English majors in the family.  He needs us to text-edit his papers.

If money was the thing we wanted most in life, I'm pretty sure we could have taken our English majors and done something high-paying with them.  We could have been Community Organizers.  I hear there are lots of opportunities for advancement there, if you know the right people.

I was going to title this blog post "101 reasons why Primigenitus should choose Grove City College over Hillsdale," but I'm sure he'll be glad to see I changed the topic to something we can both agree on!

1 comment:

Tina Craig said...

We need English majors for posts like this! I was a Geology major and never used it. I couldn't see myself mucking about in toxic waste or drilling for oil. We recently concluded the college search for our oldest. (She will be an Environmental Science major with a minor in Franciscan Service and Advocacy at Siena College.) It seems like colleges have much better career centers these days. Or maybe I just didn't know it was there? It is in their best interest to help their graduates find meaningful employment.