"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
— Art Buchwald
"A man may be born a jackass; but it is his business if he makes himself a double one."
— Martin H. Fischer
"One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork."
— Edward Abbey
"His speeches left the impression of an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea."
— William Gibbs McAdoo
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. "
— Will Rogers
"Posterity is as likely to be wrong as anybody else."
— Heywood Broun
"The function of posterity is to look after itself. "
— Dylan Thomas
"Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences. "
— Robert Louis Stevenson
"It is with narrow-souled people, as with narrow-necked bottles - the less they have in them, the more noise they make in pouring it out."
— Alexander Pope
"Children are a great comfort to us in our old age, and they help us reach it faster too. "
"What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease."
— George D. Prentice
"In middle life, the human back is spoiling for a technical knockout and will use the flimsiest excuse, even a sneeze, to fall apart. "
— E. B. White
"I take a grave view of the press. It is the weak slat under the bed of democracy."
— A. J. Liebling
"Every journalist owes tribute to the evil one. "
— Jean de la Fontaine
"The civilization of one epoch becomes the manure of the next."
— Cyril Connolly
"Here in America we are descended in blood and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels. As their heirs, may we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion."
— Dwight Eisenhower
"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. "
— Soren Kierkegaard
"Respect for the fragility and importance of an individual life is still the mark of an educated man."
— Norman Cousins
"In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these."
— Paul Harvey